—Special “Sex in the City” E-dition —
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Real e-Mails from Real Subscribers
When folks read the story about that couple who’d been arrested Wednesday for having sex in the median at 200 West Central Parkway, all of the Fornicators at the Fishwrap thought it was our newsbimbo who’s getting her brains boinked out by a co-worker who is not her husband. —Skaggie Maggie
We think the number is now “one.” —Official 2007 Whistleblower/ Viagra/ TV Coroner O’dell Owens Press Conference /Mark Mallory “Stop the Screwing” Billboards/ David A. Pepper “Safe Sex is My First Priority/ “JayWalking Joe” Deters “That Bitch was Really Ugly” Caught-Having-Sex-in-Public Counters.
Yesterday was a real flag-waving edition of The Blower, and it wasn’t even a national holiday. —PFC Kadon
Isn’t it lucky that we only have to pretend to be patriotic on July Fourth and Memorial Day? —Kneepad Liberals in the Press
DemocRATS in Congress say the best way to support the troops is to cut their funding. —DC Newsbreaker
I can’t understand why Hamilton County over-taxed payers would actually think they should get to vote on the DemocRAT Jail Tax Scam after I endorsed it. —Your Senile Sheriff
The first thing we have to do when the Board of Elections checks those DemocRAT Jail Tax Petitions is try to find out how many signatures the County Auditor lost while the forms were in his possession. —John Williams
Get ready to count all my votes for my new job on City Clown-cil. —SMLP Smithermouth
No so fast, boy! —NAALCP
Do you think we need a “No Fondling Zone” to keep the faggots out of Mt. Fairy Forest ? — Cincinnati Park Board
Homos are really happy about the Fishwrap’s front-page hit piece on “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman. Sharon Coolidge really made it sound like Brinkman was actually in the courtroom when Judge Ruehlman pandered to the homosexual lobby and called Brinkman a criminal, just to get his name in the paper. —Sodomy Rites Activists
That’s why I sent out a press release announcing I was planning to introduce a bill in the Ohio House requiring Ohio judges to be familiar with American justice system. —“TaxKiller Tom”
Just because I wound up with egg all over my face when my own Board of Revulsion humiliated me after my drive-by reappraisers unsuccessfully tried to jack up Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane's property values, now everybody who got a reduction will be exposed on my webpage. —Your Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor
Any Hamilton County employee who does not receive his Blower should call me personally. —Greg Wandstrat (513-946-6454)
Did you know you can still leave a message for me at my old County number (513-946-4403)?—The Odious Ron Roberts
When you saw our slow-news Sunday photo op announcing giving all that over-taxed payers’ money to “revitalize” certain neighborhoods, did anybody figure out it was just a little pre-election pandering? —Incumbents on Cincinnati City Clown-cil running for re-election
Have you checked out “Free Advice for our elected Republican leaders” on my
With only 224 more days till the GOP Primary on March 4, 2008 in Ohio’s Second Congressional District,
Angry George told me to stop having sex with DemocRATS, City Hall staffers, and Mean Jean Schmidt. —Ghizzy Lizzy
Angry George told me stop eating for at least a year and never again take my shoes off when in a meeting. He says my fat feet smell like burned Brussels sprouts in urine. —Michelle Glass Slipper
That’s why we chose Christopher Morley’s “A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.”—Your Quote for Today Committee
On yesterday’s date in 1984 Vanessa Williams resigned her Miss America crown because of those dirty pictures. Yesterday’s date was also the birthday of Don Imus and Schottzie. —Hurley the Historian
We can’t understand why it’s now been twenty-four days since you e-mailed your 100% correct winning entry for Peggy Schott’s “Fourth of July Quiz” and she still hasn’t sent your prize. —Coldwell Banker
Whenever Kneepad Liberals in the Press are forced to mention all those people who stand in line waiting to get in to the Creation Museum, they never compare those high attendance figures with how few people actually pay to visit the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Under-funded, Ugly-ass Unnagraown Ray roe Museum Freedom Center. —Ken CamBoo
Have you seen our poll asking who Kenton County Republicans should choose to replace Billionaire Judge Defective Ralph Drees? —Gateway to the Truth
What kind of guy would try to take credit for the 30% reduction of crime in Covington ? — Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders
Conservatives have been shunning me ever since I voted to change the name of 12th Street in Copvington to Martin Luther King Boulevard . —Steve Mergele
Did anybody see where the Kentucky Club for Growth ranked me highest among Northern Kentucky lawmakers? —mAdam “Still No W-2” Koening
Not only that, I got the highest overall rating in the Bluegrass Senate. —The Dick Roeding
Last weekend, every place I went, not a single person asked my about my autobiographical tell-all book. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson
Guess who called begging to write my biography. —Jeni Lee Dinkle
Wait a minute, I thought Jeni Lee promised me. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
Did you see my NKU research study that says staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and makes them live longer? —Dr. Eric Ogler
Did anybody see our Bungals update? —The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Did you see our On-line poll where we asked people if they thought newspapers had a future? —NoKY ComPost
Was that picture of the Tourette’s guy in Saturday’s Blower really vile and disgusting, or what? —The Tasteless T-Shirt Shop
Can fat people drive in the bus lane? —Channel 19 News
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of whacko judges to show that injudicious remarks from the bench are not tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a moronic magistrate.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, so it’s not our fault —especially Judge Rabid Robert Ruehlman.
Some vile-and-disgusting items in today's Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this picture of a ordered for the median on Central Parkway .
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